Lots of folks who have had the privilege, nay, the honor of reading the Political Jesus Biblioblog on a regular basis would surely tell true tall tales that it often feels like the most holy event since the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents. PJ’s ridiculously awesome exposition, variety, and utter lack of nuance or subtlety often leads to powerful truth spoken to obnoxious and oblivious power, and a feeling somewhat akin to religious ecstasy. After having read a blog series on PJ, many readers leave wondering if they had not just read something that will surely be accepted into the canon of scripture upon Rodney’s death.
Then they go back to Facebook or their own piddly pet “biblio” blog, where there is a lot that doesn’t measure up to PJ. Thankfully, these blogs are still marginally useful, if boring and banal, just like toilet paper is useful, despite its lowly station. It is even likely the case that these “bloggers” still are Christians, despite the fact that they lack even a modicum of the blogging abilities of the absolute ROCK STARS at Political Jesus.
Unless you happen to faithfully read blogs written by some of the other celebrated (but clearly still not as good as PJ) bloggers, such as Theological Graffiti, Unsettled Christianity, Notes From the Pastor’s Office, Homebrewed Theology, TheoNerd, Exploring Our Matrix, Near Emmaus, or Keep The Faith, you have likely faced this heartbreaking situation. You may have read an exciting biblioblog at some point, but daily you are reminded that the theo-gods that you once read are so far above your second rate blog (which will never have thousands of readers, a twitter feed, a tumblr, or any other social media tied to it) that you are simply shattered.
What if YOUR blog is simply suckier than Political Jesus? Well, it is. Should you stop reading other blogs? No. Here is my advice.
First, rejoice that your internet is working in the first place. There are kids in… some place that can’t even check their facebook walls… because they don’t have facebook… because they don’t have internet access… or computers… or food.
Also, rejoice that your blogger of choice has not tried to publicly start a twitter war with Rodney. The fact that your blogger is still blogging and not trying to hang themselves means that they have kept their noses relatively clean, or the bloodhounds of biblioblogtown would have already attacked, and frankly, this is more than most can handle.
Second, realize that some people are meant to blog to a worldwide audience. Your blogger is probably actually you (admit it, the only people reading your blog are the 2-3 women in your life, your best friend who really doesn’t even read it, and your frenemy who you love to argue with). And you simply don’t cut the mustard. Your whole “find myself through blogging while I am in seminary” thing is just pathetic. I’m not saying give up… or am I?
Your sucky blogging might be tragic, but keep it up. It makes the rest of us look like the all stars we are.
Third, if your blog is honestly lame, but it at least brings up interesting topics, even as it doesn’t have any meaningful commentary, a little statement I once heard might be helpful for you to remember: “The truly spiritual person is usually very dull (at least in many Western Post-Christendom areas), and thus doesn’t need intellectual stimulation, just lies that back up their already deeply misguided, but equally deeply held religious views.” Just repeat something that you heard one time that sounded interesting, even if you can’t back it up with facts. When someone corrects you, you can cry persecution and your religious wacko followers will come to your defense, painting the intelligent one as the non-believer.
Fourth, don’t actually read blogs. Just respond in the comments section about what you THINK the blogger was saying in the title, or based on how you misinterpreted an earlier blog of theirs. Again, truth or honesty isn’t as important as consistency. In my experiences of both writing and reading blogs, I can confirm that intent readers with fine tooth combs make factual and relevant biblioblogging less interesting, while angry, one-dimensional, fundamentalists inspire much more lively discussion.
Fifth, take the time to write to your blogger. Don’t use email or the comments section, as this would imply that you took the time to read the article and respond with equally thoughtful commentary. No, use a postcard and hand deliver it to them. That way, they will read it, unlike the comments on your blog, which get deleted once ANYONE begins to level serious critique. Every blogger who is not extraordinarily and divinely blessed to the vocation of being a better blogger than you has read a better blog and moaned, “after reading that, why do I even try?!” That, frankly is a good question. Upon reflection, I really don’t have an encouraging answer to that…
We should praise the Lord for giving us outstanding, well-known bloggers, but let us not forget Paul’s command to Timothy, “don’t be a pretentious douche, Tim. Leave that for the Gospel Coalition. They will do it far better than you can.” - (face) Palms 34
The above is a parody of the utter nonsense that is this post.