I guess I’m old fashioned but I would let my son watch My Little Pony #MLPFIM

mlp fim

OH MAH GAWDZ WHAT ABOUT THE MENZZZZZZZ! THIS ONE LITTLE CARTOON IS MAKING ALL THESE 21ST CENTURY MALES INTO WOMINZ. WHAT EVER SHALL WE DO????!!!!!

And now for the rebuttal to idiocy and opinions based off of ignorance.

First of all, I don’t know if there’s a rule book or something out there, but I know that it was up until the mid-20th century before colors like pink were assigned to femininity. Second of all, as a Brony who is also Christian and straight, let me just say that the people who are really old fashioned VALUE THE LIVES OF WOMEN AND THEIR THOUGHTS. The dogmatic view that pink means girly is RELATIVELY NEW.

Walsh:

“I’m not actually sure if this is true — and I suspect it isn’t. If the kid was literally assaulted by groups of boys, I find it hard to believe that none of the offenders have been punished.”

Myself:

No offense to survivors and current members of homeschooling, but Mr. Walsh, stick to speaking at homeschooling conferences. You have no idea what it means to work in a public education setting. You see, kids can getaway with a lot, and they find the most ridiculous ways to hide what they do. And hey, how about we not shame victims of violence? Oh that’s right, you are already doing so. 11 year Old Michael Morones, a boy who loves Jesus and Pinky Pie was bullied into feeling worthless and attempted suicide. Here is a boy who carried his Bible everyday and went to church regularly. And he liked the emotionally excessive party pony Pinky Pie. I used to carry my Bible in my backpack to school when I was his age, and I had very few options, so I watched X-Men the Animated Series and Eek the Cat, and The Tick and oh Power Rangers. Boys and Girls used to love power rangers, then they became stale and uncool. If it was okay for girls to like MMPR back in the 1990′s (something marketed at boys) I don’t see the problem with young and old fans of MLPFIM.

Walsh:

“They say the school is wrong, the boy should keep wearing the backpack, and we should all celebrate the individuality and self-expression of a male who watches a TV show about unicorns.”

and

“It isn’t fair or right that a boy’s enthusiasm for a show called My Little Pony – featuring unicorns named Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie”

Me:

YO DAWG DON’T YOU KNOW THAT UNICORNS ARE IN THE BIBLE! YES THE BIBLE ACCORDING TO THE BONAFIDE LEGIT INTERPRETATION OF THE PEOPLE FROM ANSWERS IN GENESIS, UNICORNS ARE IN THE BIBLE. YOU MATT WALSH SIR, HAVE AN UNCHRISTIAN WORLDVIEW!

Also, the show (which has great animation and storytelling btw), has more than just unicorns. It’s filled with Earth Ponies, Pegasi, Alicorns, Dragons, Dogs, fairies, Griffiths, and Buffaloes, just to name a few other creatures. Any show with Dragons should definitely begin a chance. Except for Game Of Thrones.

Speaking of Game Of Thrones and why I don’t watch it.

MLPFIM is a cartoon that does not show violence. “Boy stuff” G.I. Joes to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles can glorify violence at times. Why must masculinity be defined by violence? Enter Walsh once more:

“If Grayson were my son, I certainly wouldn’t tell him that he deserves this treatment — far from it. I’d take him aside, as my dad did with me, and tell him that he must always be prepared to stand up for himself. I’d tell him that nobody ever has the right to abuse him. I’d tell him that he may even need to respond physically, and I’d give him the two caveats that my dad gave me: 1) You may hit back in self-defense. 2) You may hit back in order to defend some other innocent person.

Never instigate. Never provoke. But always stand tall with conviction and courage.”

Well, way to vaguely approve of violence, my friend! See, the positive feminist values taught by My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, are that from a relational perspective. I would prefer to teach my son (if and when I ever get married and we choose to have kids), the way of persuasion and dialogue. See, just because MLPFIM is a cartoon does not mean it can’t teach anything. In fact, one of the things about books, television, and other media is that they have a teaching function, since all media is value-laden. There’s really no such thing as a neutral sphere. I mean when I was a kid, The Flintstones and The Jetsons learned us about family, The Smurfs about communism, G.I. Joes about Patriotism, He-Man: Masters of the Universe about well, just plain awesomeness. I want to teach my son to love his enemies, and forgive those who persecute him, just like Jesus would. This means a complete rejection of worldly (read: violent) definitions of manhood. I also plan on teaching my daughter(s) and/or son(s) to be anti-racist as well; and as I have mentioned before, MLP:FIM has a few episodes dealing with race and empire. If a show like My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic makes it that much easier for me to do so, then a show like that is okay by me!

cutie mark crusade solidarity

h00die_R (Rod)

priestly abolitionist time travelling supervillian

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Doctor Who’s Alternate New Calvinist Timeline

*The only way I could respond to this TL is with humor.

Doctor Who’s Alternative New Calvinist Timeline

To see the full timeline, download the PowerPoint here: Doctor Who’s Alternate New Calvinist Timeline

kanye-interrupts-god-w-sega-genisis

3616 B.C.: In the Beginning, The Doctor hears God say “Hip Hop Music is good.”

First written in 1175 A.D.

1175 A.D.: Joshua Harris writes “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and is placed under a sleeping spell by The Doctor (who used his Sonic Screwdriver) to wake up in the 20th century. As Harris brings back courtship, he ruins the lives of desperate Christian men everywhere.

1721 A.D.: Revivalist Jonathan Edwards tells the Doctor that he is going to bloody hell but Jesus loves you. But he really, really, really wants to destroy you. And if you’re white, God wants you to own black people as slaves!

1845 A.D.: In Augusta, Georgia, a group of slave owners decide to start their very own denomination called the Southern Baptist Convention.

nazi confederate flag

1866 A.D.: The Doctor witnesses God putting His stamp of approval on The Lost Cause.

2005 A.D.: The Doctor discovers that Paleoconfederate Doug Wilson’s rewriting “Southern Slavery As It Was” as the still White Supremacist propaganda “Black And Tan” is a fixed point in time and cannot be erased by John Piper’s 2013 declarations that Wilson “doesn’t have a racist bone in his body.”

*Several thanks a few friends who helped inspire me to write this post.

h00die_R (Rod)

priestly abolitionist time travelling supervillian

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A New Christmas Song (towards being honest)

This song is:

1) An attempt to respectfully add to our repoitoire of Christmas songs, while trying to be as truly historical as the other songs before it.

2) Making an attempt to reflect not only what Christmas is really about in our belief system, but also what we truly want from our All-Father.

Link to youtube video: here

Optimistic Chad

Chad really really hopes things are going to turn out ok. He loves his wife - with the passion of 1000 exploding suns, and is a diligent, but surely mediocre father to his brilliant and subversive children. He likes Chinese food.

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So You Want To Make A Parody Account on Twitter: A Few Suggestions

From time to time, I like to write about blogging ethics, at least postulate about them in the abstract. So, I thought I would share my thoughts from Twitter the other day!

And there’s nothing like:

So, do us all a favor and at least become vaguely familiar with the groups/stereotypes you’re making fun of.

h00die_R (Rod)

priestly abolitionist time travelling supervillian

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when i’m asking you to start blogging

If you’re NOT blogging, even if you do not have a platform, please START.

We do not have enough voices in cyberspace speaking out on religion (or non-religion), politics, or social justice. We need more treasures to pile up and stack really really high.

(Please keep reading my post here. You will catch the point if you keep reading).

I have joy. Inexplicable joy. Because when I blog nowadays, I do it because I want to. I write on what I want. I don’t believe in deadlines (except if its for a synchroblog). There’s no need to brand myself or go after a Christian publishing deal, because I want to write as me (but good for you if you are published).

I am telling everyone who is an experienced writer or a novice that you need to grow as a writer, and interact with people who may not agree with you.

What I am saying is this, because I am called by the Holy Ghost, I want everyone to be decolonized and literate, and turn off the t.v. for a few hours each day, and write. You need to add to the noise, even on the days when you don’t have the fire in your heart and you’re tired of being tired.

We’re doing Kin-dom work here, and everyone in the church is called to be a theologian. Blogging is not the same as having the gift of tongues or the call to preach. Throughout history, people of all faiths have written in their journals and described their experiences with the Divine.

I believe in you. I believe in all of you. When you tell me you are struggling to say just the right words, I will lend a listening ear. Whether you blog to help the poor, or to take pictures of your loved ones, it does not matter. Write because we as human beings are confessional creatures, and writing is part of the confessing process.

We may disagree on the type of tone you should have in the blogosphere, but I am not going to tone-police the space you have created.

All are called to be cultural creators. All are called. We were made in the Image of God, no less, and we are called to be co-creators with the Triune God.

It does not matter what the numbers are. Write for you. Stay true to you.

Thank you for answering the call, which is extended to all.

Even if you do have a platform that’s all about power, even if you do want to be famous on the interwebz, blog on, and blog on some more.

Carry on my wayward sons, and daughters. Don’t you cry no more.

glory for Glory

h00die_R (Rod)

priestly abolitionist time travelling supervillian

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John Piper Doesn’t Want Us to Read Doug Wilson’s Black And Tan Anymore

SOOOOOOO STAHP IT YOU GUYS!!!!! JUST STAHP IT!!!!!! DON’T LET THE TRUTH OR FACTS GET IN THE WAY OF CALLING OUT “PALEOCONFEDERATE” BIGOTRY!

I just find it so funny that it was just last year Wilson invited everyone to get a free pdf copy of his book, and decide for themselves, but now, Pastor John Piper is urging (more likely his white evangelical followers) people to STAHP reading Black And Tan, , formerly known as “Slavery As It Was.” The original title proves that John Piper lied on the video linked to protect Doug Wilson.  The book was not about abortion, only mentions abortion once; it’s a defense of the Confederacy, and the enslavement of African bodies, a defense justified by Wilson’s biblical hermeneutic and his version of Calvinist theology (what Piper refers to as “The Gospel“).

 

Okay, John Piper, and Doug Wilson, I thank you for the invitation. I am going to re-read Black And Tan all over again, and live-tweet, and live-tumblr, and blog on every single line that’s racist [hint: the entire book], and I am not gonna be merciful or kind in the hopes of persuading Wilson’s followers; whoever endorses this man, yes this means you, Christianity Today, is too far gone to begin with, too emotionally invested to for “holy confrontation.”

It’ may not be this month, but I am re-reading Black and Tan, and making it an event.

 

#sorrynotsorry.

 

 

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h00die_R (Rod)

priestly abolitionist time travelling supervillian

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#AddAWordRuinAChristianBook: Storify Version

Last night, Twitter was a-buzz with the meme making fun of Christian book titles. Take a look!

h00die_R (Rod)

priestly abolitionist time travelling supervillian

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When Your Biblioblog Is Not Political Jesus

Lots of folks who have had the privilege, nay, the honor of reading the Political Jesus Biblioblog on a regular basis would surely tell true tall tales that it often feels like the most holy event since the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents. PJ’s ridiculously awesome exposition, variety, and utter lack of nuance or subtlety often leads to powerful truth spoken to obnoxious and oblivious power, and a feeling somewhat akin to religious ecstasy. After having read a blog series on PJ, many readers leave wondering if they had not just read something that will surely be accepted into the canon of scripture upon Rodney’s death.

Then they go back to Facebook or their own piddly pet “biblio” blog, where there is a lot that doesn’t measure up to PJ. Thankfully, these blogs are still marginally useful, if boring and banal, just like toilet paper is useful, despite its lowly station. It is even likely the case that these “bloggers” still are Christians, despite the fact that they lack even a modicum of the blogging abilities of the absolute ROCK STARS at Political Jesus.

Unless you happen to faithfully read blogs written by some of the other celebrated (but clearly still not as good as PJ) bloggers, such as Theological Graffiti, Unsettled Christianity, Notes From the Pastor’s Office, Homebrewed Theology, TheoNerd, Exploring Our Matrix, Near Emmaus, or Keep The Faith, you have likely faced this heartbreaking situation. You may have read an exciting biblioblog at some point, but daily you are reminded that the theo-gods that you once read are so far above your second rate blog (which will never have thousands of readers, a twitter feed, a tumblr, or any other social media tied to it) that you are simply shattered.

What if YOUR blog is simply suckier than Political Jesus? Well, it is. Should you stop reading other blogs? No. Here is my advice.

Five Suggestions

First, rejoice that your internet is working in the first place. There are kids in… some place that can’t even check their facebook walls… because they don’t have facebook… because they don’t have internet access… or computers… or food.

Also, rejoice that your blogger of choice has not tried to publicly start a twitter war with Rodney. The fact that your blogger is still blogging and not trying to hang themselves means that they have kept their noses relatively clean, or the bloodhounds of biblioblogtown would have already attacked, and frankly, this is more than most can handle.

Second, realize that some people are meant to blog to a worldwide audience. Your blogger is probably actually you (admit it, the only people reading your blog are the 2-3 women in your life, your best friend who really doesn’t even read it, and your frenemy who you love to argue with). And you simply don’t cut the mustard. Your whole “find myself through blogging while I am in seminary” thing is just pathetic. I’m not saying give up… or am I?

Your sucky blogging might be tragic, but keep it up. It makes the rest of us look like the all stars we are.

Third, if your blog is honestly lame, but it at least brings up interesting topics, even as it doesn’t have any meaningful commentary, a little statement I once heard might be helpful for you to remember: “The truly spiritual person is usually very dull (at least in many Western Post-Christendom areas), and thus doesn’t need intellectual stimulation, just lies that back up their already deeply misguided, but equally deeply held religious views.” Just repeat something that you heard one time that sounded interesting, even if you can’t back it up with facts. When someone corrects you, you can cry persecution and your religious wacko followers will come to your defense, painting the intelligent one as the non-believer.

Fourth, don’t actually read blogs. Just respond in the comments section about what you THINK the blogger was saying in the title, or based on how you misinterpreted an earlier blog of theirs. Again, truth or honesty isn’t as important as consistency. In my experiences of both writing and reading blogs, I can confirm that intent readers with fine tooth combs make factual and relevant biblioblogging less interesting, while angry, one-dimensional, fundamentalists inspire much more lively discussion.

Fifth, take the time to write to your blogger. Don’t use email or the comments section, as this would imply that you took the time to read the article and respond with equally thoughtful commentary. No, use a postcard and hand deliver it to them. That way, they will read it, unlike the comments on your blog, which get deleted once ANYONE begins to level serious critique. Every blogger who is not extraordinarily and divinely blessed to the vocation of being a better blogger than you has read a better blog and moaned, “after reading that, why do I even try?!” That, frankly is a good question. Upon reflection, I really don’t have an encouraging answer to that…

We should praise the Lord for giving us outstanding, well-known bloggers, but let us not forget Paul’s command to Timothy, “don’t be a pretentious douche, Tim. Leave that for the Gospel Coalition. They will do it far better than you can.”  - (face) Palms 34

 

The above is a parody of the utter nonsense that is this post. 

Optimistic Chad

Chad really really hopes things are going to turn out ok. He loves his wife - with the passion of 1000 exploding suns, and is a diligent, but surely mediocre father to his brilliant and subversive children. He likes Chinese food.

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How To Win At Derailing Bingo

I have heard and read a lot of these in conversations about race, identity, and culture. Thanks to commenter David for the heads up.

derailing bingo

From the Son Of Baldwin facebook page

h00die_R (Rod)

priestly abolitionist time travelling supervillian

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President Obama And Governor Rick Perry, Please Take A Seat!

It’s gets to be too much work to write a blog post for every stupid thing someone says or does that just annoys me. Rather than that, since I would rather work on other topic, I would like to do a column on who I think needs to take a seat, and be quiet. So, here goes the first edition:

English: Barack Obama delivers a speech at the...

English: Barack Obama delivers a speech at the University of Southern California (Video of the speech) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1. President Barack Obama: I know things were not going to go well with his first trip to Africa, since he’s ignored them for about six years.  So Obama tells Africans to stop blaming colonialism for their troubles a few years ago.  Now Professor President BHO tells them Africans over there that their culture is backwater and they need to join modern neoliberalism and make marriage a social marker for economic success for everyone. Obama’s colonizing gaze is just more of the same Wilsonian imperialist progressivism, and it flatly ignores American archconservative Christian involvement in Uganda.  To this, I say to BHO, the gluteus maximus, meet the chair. Take a seat, sir!  Have several of them.

Governor Rick Perry of Texas speaking at the R...

Governor Rick Perry of Texas speaking at the Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans, Louisiana. Please attribute to Gage Skidmore if used elsewhere. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2. Rick Perry was not alone in staying in the headlines in Texas politics, but I am going to have to advise him and his buddy Lieutenant David Dewhurst to find a chair, take a seat, please. No disrespect. Why? Just cuz.

3. The white people and white conservative talking heads making fun of Rachel Jeantel. She speaks three languages. Hannity? O’Reilly? College and high school dropouts. These are the same white people who have given us Honey Boo Boo, Moonshiners, and Duck Dynasty? really? really? HAVE A SEAT AND TAKE AS MANY AS YOU NEED PLEASE!

4. Paula Deen Supporters crying foul. Look, the government nor Black Twitter had nothing to do with your heroine’s downfall. The free market took care of her. Take your crocodile tears and place your bottom in a chair, mouths closed. Thanks. Kay. Goodbye.

English: Lieutenant Governor of Texas David De...

English: Lieutenant Governor of Texas David Dewhurst (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

5. So-called social justice advocates who were rejoicing over the Supreme Court’s rulings on Prop 8 and DOMA. Look, the DOMA case just proves my point that marriage is an economic arrangement, the part of DOMA that was rejected was about BENEFITS not anything about the nature of sexuality or whatever. But anyhow, SCOTUS on Monday struck down a key provision of the Voting Rights Act, and it didn’t take long for the relevant states to start more voter suppression . So, for all those silent “allies’ out there, I want ya’ll to take a seat in the corner, in timeout. You need it.

 

 

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h00die_R (Rod)

priestly abolitionist time travelling supervillian

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