Mark Stevens of Near Emmaus asks, “Can someone please explain NFL to me? I mean how can it have the word football in the name when no one regularly kicks the ball? How can fat blokes be called athletes? What is the main aim of the game?”
American Football is a religion in the Deep Southern states in the United States of America. It’s largest population of adherents reside in the great country of Texas. It’s worshippers consist of both men and women, but much like Islam, conservative Christian and Jewish congregations, and ancient religions, women play a secondary role in religious life as cheerleaders. Like the Athenians who held the Olympics every year, men who are involved in American football games love to tackle, wrestle, and grab each others buttocks.
A few things of note:
1. There are 11 manly men on the field for each team at a time.
2. Each team has 4 downs to make 10 yards, on a 100 yard field. If they make it to the end of the field, it is called a touchdown.
3. The girly man of the team who gets to throw the ball from time to time is referred to as the quarterback.
4. There is a lot of trash talking in football, as well as a huge risk for injury.
5. The Super Bowl is an international past time, because American football owns every sport, even soccer.
6. Most of the players who play defense have lower IQs than those on offense. True story.
7. On offense, the goal is to go all 100 yards of the field to score something called a touchdown. A touchdown is equal to 6 points. A team can either try for an extra point (1 point try) or go for 2 points on a 2 point conversion attempt. If a team does not want a touchdown, they can try a field goal, which means that a kicker tries to get 3 points by kicking the ball in between the two goal posts. The other guy who kicks the ball in the game is known as a punter. If after 3 downs, a team is unable to get a first down (10 yards), then the punter will try to kick the ball away, usually to a returner.
8.If you have any other questions, please feel free to comment.
You are welcome.
@Rod: You need to build a culture bridge by mentioning ‘Rugby’ as a cousin of this sport. That may help Mark out a bit!
Bah Humbug! Football is the one true religion. It burns bridges.
No, no, no. CANADIAN football is the one true religion. Go Roughriders!
Amanda,
Away with your blasphemies!
I’d watch almost any other sport before Rugby!
Ok Rod, what does 4 downs mean?what constitutes a down? Why do they run out of bounds all of the time?
Why are their so many fat blokes? What does training consist of for them; eating cheeseburgers?
Mark, four downs don’t make any sense. 3 downs make sense. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_American_and_Canadian_football
And up here training consists not of eating cheeseburgers, but of eating poutine.
Mark,
Pay no attention to Amanda the Blasphemer.
I’ll address one question at a time.
A) 4 downs just means 4 tries, to get 10 yards. A down is just a try, an attempt. They do not run out of bounds all of the time. But they get out of bounds to avoid taking hits, but half of the time, there are plays in the middle of the field. A defensive player can hit a player only if they are in bounds; if they are out of bounds, it is a penalty.
B) Fat blokes. On the field, usually, there are 9-10 fat people on the field. There are 5 offensive linemen to block the defense from getting to the quarterback (the boy who throws the ball) or the runners (running backs who may be in the back field). The other 4-5 fat people on the field may be the defensive line men. They are trying to get to the quarterback before he passes or hands it off to the running backs. Their goal is to prevent the offense from getting 10 yards on 4 downs (usually its only 3, and then a punt).
As far as training goes, the fat players eat a lot of food at the expense of the college or pro team. But they all lift weights. It depends on the individual. The bigger the O LINE, the more powerful the offense, the more yards for the offense. But this is not always the case. TCU had a 50 pound disadvantage against Wisconsin, and still beat them in the Rose Bowl. I hope that helps.
Very Good!
My favorite:
Makes me proud to hail from Texas.
But I would have put a Baylor Bear in the post.
Hahhahahaha, poor Baylor.
bah, you all have never been to Wisconsin. i have been to the great cathdral called Lambeau Field and have seen the icons called superbowl trophys.
That’s really cool Doug, but there’s this team from Fort Worth that beat Wisconsin. Purple and Black!!! Rah Rah TCU!
I am talking about the Green Bay Packers, not some college team.
Oh, I’m sorry, you were referring to the No Fun League? Oh.
I take offence to your point number five; you’ve obviously never seen proper footy (that is, Aussie Rules Football).
Let me introduce you:
Point #5 stands. Just show me the money!