Early today, Totally Depraved Joel Polywatts took it upon himself to make a list called If Bibliobloggers were villains, and he insinuated that I would somehow be Nuclear Man!?! Really? With a bad 80s haircut and all?
So today, I present to you, What if the Bibliobloggers were persons from the Old Testament (or Hebrew Bible or Septuagint or LXX or Masoteric Text).
Jeremy Thompson: Because he is an illegitimate monarch of the bibliobloggers and such, Jeremy would be Saul, as the book of Judges clearly tells us his reign was not anywhere legitimate. Especially with how his tribe was re-built. Tsk Tsk (Judges 19-21).
N T Wrong: Unable to control his Jouissance-meter, he must be Onan, from Genesis 38.
James McGrath: Known for his love of UFOs, James and the prophet-priest Ezekiel would get along since they are suckers for science fiction, including that evolution and progressive Christianity stuff. Yeah…..
Bitsy Griffin: Like every good librarian, Bitsy has to have tools ready at all time to build those book shelves in case there are orders from the catalog. I am sure Bitsy and Jael from Judges 4 would give each other pointers.
Unsettled Christian Joel Watts: Bottom line, Polywatts is the Nehemiah of the biblioblogosphere. Joel is the cup-bearer for all of the kool-aid sipping NLT-loving, Obama supporting Christians out there, and Nehemiah, well, he was an unquestionably faithful cup-bearer for the emperor, and his interpretation of Deuteronomy was questionable. Joel and N have a lot in common.
James Bradford Pate: James must be that girl or guy who recorded the books of Chronicles since his blog posts are so long.
Amanda M: Amanda regularly discusses dead people, like vampires and deceased pilots on run-down spaceships, so she must be the medium from Endor that Saul met in 1st Samuel 28.
Love it!!!!!
Why thank you.
Hilarious!
Great list!
But you forgot Jim West, who is clearly Jeremiah, railing against the sin of this “depraved” generation.
I’d probably say John Hobbins is Isaiah, hope-filled but also incisive in his criticism (or he could be one of the collectors of the book of Psalms!).
I wouldn’t forget Jim West. He is probably more like Eglon. Wouldnt want to insult Jeremiah like that.
Thanks for doing this – and for making me Ezekiel, seer of UFOs, rather than Enoch, abductee!
Yeah, it was the first person I thought of. I was at a church for a program hosted by Brite a few years ago when a volunteer/staff person informed a friend and I of how Ezekiel saw the first UFO. I was like, hmmmm, sounds more like a science fiction novel. Lols.
Rodney, I will simply create another post next week and further destroy you. Bless your little heart.
So cool of you,Joel. I look forward to it. You will not be able to recover from my next upcoming post; you shall be destroyed. Like the Wisconsin Badgers were by TCU.
I’m sorry, Rodney, but when you use games where men dress in capri pants and blouses, dance around when they score, and are physically aggressive as threats only serve to make me worry about you.
I “use” games like that? Actually, I am becoming less and less of a fan of organized American football, especially the NFL.
But its okay, go on ahead and keep watching and listening to Glenn Beck. We know he is your hero.
Glenn Back. Bam!
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long…and they appear on the surface to contain information that’s irrelevant, but is hopefully important to somebody! Like
Chronicles!
Ha ha. hey, your words, not mine.