Targum on Romans 13

Rom. 13:1  Come on, people, submit to your government; because there’s no government without God, and the governments that are still around are only around because of God.
2 So whoever doesn’t submit to government isn’t submitting to what God lets happen, and you get what you ask for if you stick your neck out.
3 Because clearly, governments never misuse their power. They are only dangerous to the bad, bad people, not the good ones, right? Do you want to be afraid of your government? So do what is right, and you will never have a problem with the man;
4 because God wants the government to be good. But if you don’t do exactly what the government tells you, you should be afraid, because the government, like an abusive father, will beat you, maybe even kill you, like a child who misbehaves, if you step out of line!
5 So the point is, try to keep your head down, Not only so you won’t get beaten, but because ideally, you don’t want to be “that guy.”
6 This is the same reason you guys pay taxes, because the government always does God’s will, and they don’t waste time or money when they do it.
7 Make sure you pay everyone what you owe them—pay taxes when you owe taxes, pay money when you owe money, pay respect when you owe respect, pay honor when you owe honor.
8  So don’t owe anyone anything. However, you can and should owe each other love. Because if you love each other, it doesn’t matter what laws you obey.
9 The teachings about not committing adultery, not killing, not stealing, not coveting, or any other teaching, can be paraphrased by saying, “Love love each other, just like you love yourself.”
10 Love doesn’t hurt others; So love, is kinda the point of the law.
11 Besides, like Morris Day, you know what time it is.  Time to wake up, not hit the snooze button. This is because your rescue from where you were towards God’s will is closer all the time.
12 Nighttime is over. It is the morning of a new day. Lets not keep doing the stuff we only do at night,  lets get dressed for going outside today.
13 lets get presentable, like you do when you leave the house, don’t show off by getting drunk and embarrassing your church family, let’s not have sex without covenant or do whatever we feel like, lets get along well and not be jealous.
14 Instead, let’s dress up as Jesus for Halloween – and never take the costume off. Let’s not arrange our lives to make it easier to mess up, easier to give in to how we evolved instead of how we have been created.

Optimistic Chad

Chad really really hopes things are going to turn out ok. He loves his wife - with the passion of 1000 exploding suns, and is a diligent, but surely mediocre father to his brilliant and subversive children. He likes Chinese food.

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